The beginning of my funeral business in 1986 & how I've lived with grief on a daily basis since.

In 1984 after stepping up to the plate and formerly taking over the Scullion Funeral Business in Portglenone, I was then in the very unenviable situation of finding an operating Funeral Director or Firm who would be prepared to show me the ropes, and train me to become a professional Funeral Director.

I knocked a lot of doors and spoke to many people associated with the industry for what seemed like forever, but was eventually taken on board by a funeral director who shall remain anonymous, and who in turn over the next two year period taught me everything he knew, which I can only say stood me in good stead till this day.

He would call me at all times of the day and night, when he had funerals in, whereby I was exposed to every aspect of the industry, from first call out, and meeting the bereaved family, to preparing the body, which in those days normally took place in the family home or the local hospital, right through to the burial itself.

I'd have to say that on the first few occasions, I was pretty apprehensive and maybe even scared if I were totally honest, but I always remember my mentor saying, "The dead will never do you any harm, it’s the living you want to watch out for". I remember clearly after having assisted, and overshadowed the first few Funerals, being totally blew away by the sheer volume of behind the scenes work, that was involved in organising a funeral, until that point I had never considered.

This volume of physical and mental, coupled with dealing with grieving families at their lowest point, left me totally shattered after finishing each funeral. The fact that you always had to be on call, (and there were no mobile phones in those days) was demanding, and I also found out very quickly that this business was definitely going to inhibit my social life greatly from the outset.

I also learned that I had to present myself impeccably at all times, whether I was working or socialising, as no one would employ the use of a funeral director who was anything other that clean cut, and decent at all times.

I learned that my vehicles would always have to be pristine, irrespective as to whether I was going to a football match, or going to arrange a funeral, as people would subconsciously judge you accordingly.

During my first two years of training, I would be introduced to the embalming process, dressing and caring of the deceased, body presentation, cremations, making necessary funeral service arrangements with clergy from different denominations, how to deal with the Coroners Office, Hospital Mortuaries, Emergency Services, and lots more. I can tell you that I got a real eye opener, when I got into it right, as I probably believed that all I had to do was turn up in a big black shinny car, all dressed up, and lead the funeral procession up the street, how wrong was I. But truth be told that since those early days, the funeral business has become an obsession for me.

I see It as a real vocation which I live, eat and sleep every day of my life and feel very lucky to be involved in. I launched my funeral business in Greenlough, South Derry, Northern Ireland in April 1886. It was a time when funeral homes were unheard of, removals were done from the Hospital Morgue, and embalming was done in the homes.

I remember waiting for the first phone call, or knock on the door, as was the preferred form of contact at that time. It was a daunting task, but I knew it was my calling. I had to learn very quickly that families needed support. I have seen the strength, and resilience of families and it has shown me how important it is to have a support system. I have learned to be there for others, and to offer my help in whatever way I can. Also I learned that it is okay to feel and to be in touch with my own emotions.

I am humbled by the strength and courage of those I have seen go through such hardships. I am inspired by their resilience and their ability to keep going. I hope to use my experiences to help others and to be a source of strength for them.

I have realized that what we can do is to find strength in the memories of our loved ones and use it to carry on, despite the sadness. I have learned that it is not the grief that defines us, but the way we choose to face it. Our journey of grief is unique and we are all capable of finding hope and peace in our own way.

Starting a funeral business was not easy, but I am proud of it, I have provided a service that is essential to our society. It is a privilege to help families during one of the most difficult times in their lives.

Over the years, I have learned a lot about grief and how to handle it. It is not something that can be easily forgotten, but it is something that can be managed. As a funeral director, I have had to learn how to deal with my own grief, while also helping others deal with theirs.

We are all certain of one thing... death... We understand that death is an inevitable part of life, and we must accept it with grace and dignity.

Death is something we can never fully understand, but we can try to make it easier for those who are left behind. This is why I am grateful for the opportunity to help people during this difficult time.

In conclusion, starting a funeral business in Ireland in 1986 was a challenging but rewarding experience. It has taught me a lot about life, death and grief. I am proud to have been able to provide a service to families during their time of need. I will continue to do so for as long as I can.

I remember being approached by a person, who told me that his uncle was very ill, with only an expected few days left to live, and that when he passed away, I'd be looking after his funeral arrangements. To this day I remember getting a coffin, setting it on the trestles and polished up ready to go.

This was going to be my first ever funeral as "WJ O'Donnell Independent Funeral Director", and this was going be my catalyst to secure a funeral business for the rest of my life. The gentleman in question lived for approx 2 months after that, which in my mind felt like 2 years. But his nephew was true to his word, and gave me the funeral and thus started my funeral business.

I also remember in those early days a family telling me that their mother was in hospital, she was given only days to live and again I was going to be the preferred funeral director come her time. As there were no mobile phones at that time, I literally hovered around my house so as to ensure I'd be there to take the call when they came. I waited and waited for days, weeks and months until one Sunday morning the lady who was awaiting on, came strolling into the Chapel for Sunday Mass. She obviously made a remarkable recovery which upon looking back now was just brilliant for everyone involved.

The term "Undertaker" was used more than "Funeral Director" in 1986. I was scared, but I knew this was the job I had to do. I embraced my role and did everything in my power to provide comfort and closure to the families I worked with. I soon learned to love my job and the people I served.

Since then, I have lived with grief on a daily basis. It is a part of my life that I have learned to accept and embrace. I have seen families go through the toughest times of their lives, and have been there to support them in any way I can. While it may be difficult to believe, time helps heal. Grief can be a long and difficult journey, but with patience and understanding, it is possible to come out the other side.

It is imperative to remember that everyone grieves differently and in their own time. I strive to be a source of comfort and a listening ear for the families I serve, helping them heal in the most effective way possible.